Tomb Raider Thoughts

The Tomb Raider film really sold something else in its pre-release marketing (really encompassed in this ridiculous Lucozade ad). They certainly made some…choices for this version of Lara.

It all begins with Lara is getting beat to a pulp by a female opponent in the ring while being supported by a female friend (an important point for later). Female here is important because any other speaking parts that involve women only happen twice more. At a later part a woman utters a few words while scolding her son for not asking Lara out (because remember she is a desired woman) and you also have a woman in the pawn shop who scolds her partner for flirting with Lara. Then you have Ana, if you’re a fan of the series you know the deal with her. I was a bit disappointed that they didn’t take their cue from Rhianna Pratchett’s reboot iteration where Lara embarks on her expedition with a group, including her friend Sam.

I forgave them for leaving Lara alone with new character Lu Ren with whom she could bond with over their combined daddy issues (I will probably get into this later). Cool. Lara would probably have to navigate the island alone and solve the mystery of the island herself. I mean that is what happened in the new game and she had way more people with her to find and save at the same time. In the older games she is also a lone wolf. That’s not what Lara does though. She actually spends very little time alone in this film once she reaches Yamatai. For some reason the executive reason was made to feature the main antagonist way more than he should have been featured. The film should have been renamed Tomb Guide as she ends up spending a good chunk leading Vogel and his team to Himiko’s tomb.

Which I find odd because the decision was also seemingly made to not have Lara occupied as an archaeologist, just a food courier. In a chat with (spoiler) she also reveals that she never went to university. Her puzzle solving skills rely on the fact that her dad always had puzzle things around the house and the fact that she studied some of his notes before losing them. This brings me back to the “being beaten to a pulp in the beginning” point. The film of course went with the torture porn aspect that features heavily in the game reboot and Lara has her fair share of being impaled, pinned down and punched in the face. I just don’t understand why they would give her the tomb raiding skills in this origin story but not the fucking shit up skills. I know which of these was shown she was actively working on in the start, and in flashbacks (spoiler it was fighting and archery).

I was so frustrated because the few scenes that were ripped straight from the game and any action scenes were so good. Lara escaping the ship, trying to get to safety when she landed on an old rusty plane, using the parachute to get to safety are all examples of this. Although she definitely hit more branches using the parachute than I was allowed to in the game (rude). There definitely was not enough of her using her skills to survive. Instead we got Vogel and his bros and the huge fixation on Lara’s dad. After what felt like the 50th flashback of her dad saying he had to leave her I was over it. We get it. No dad. Maybe there was a mother once who knows she is mentioned once maybe. If only the dad thing was confined to the flashbacks too because yikes that was a hangup for the whole thing. I don’t think even Bruce Wayne is that obsessive about his parents.

There were nice nods to the Tomb Raider franchise (the best being the end scene) and the action when it was there was great. I just do not get why they spent so much time on Lara’s dad and Vogel. It is like they had all the tools to explain her interests in visiting Yamatai by, I don’t know, simply making her an archaeologist following in her father’s footsteps. I just do not understand the fixation on making Lara broken. I understood her when I was doing something as redundant as locking her butler in the fridge so why do I need a tragic backstory (the only tragic thing being how drawn out it is) to justify why she does what she does?

Let Lara live.

Worth having a look at though all the same if you need something easy and fun. It could be way worse.

 

Bat Fit Fam Week 5

This is the last week I had planned to document my self prescribed fitness journey and I am keeping to that. At the end of these five weeks I definitely feel a change for the better. I am excited to continue on and am already eyeing up Darebee‘s “post apocalyptic fitness quest” as it only seems fitting to pair with Zombies, Run!

Day 1 – Ass Effect

It being a lazy kind of Sunday, the first day this week comprised of a workout from Darebee. I did a little search for a full body program and came across Andromeda. It seemed only fitting to do it as the demise of the game had been announced the day before. Some parts were more challenging than others, especially the squat hold side bends. Mass Effect Andromeda itself definitely wasn’t as painful as doing 20 of them in a row, trust me. I was quite confused with the toe taps as I found them a bit too easy. I watched the Darbee supplement video and was still unsure as to where I might have been going wrong. Maybe I am just slowly turning into a woman of steel (hilarious).

andromeda-workout

Love Song To Squat Hold Side Bends – The Ting Tings – Shut Up and Let Me Go

Day 2 – Foiled Again

I came home starved from work and devoured a mint chocolate Fulfil bar and half a turkey sandwich before I went out. Bad idea. I was going fine, doing my usual thing and then I got hit with the double zombie chase again. The only difference this time being that I didn’t completely give up. I still got caught by the zombies for not being quick enough.  After this I could feel the sandwich sitting in my stomach which made me feel quite ill. It was not fun. I soldiered on and thankfully the chases all occurred in the first half of my outing so I had time to recover myself. I can feel myself getting less motivated to go outside for runs as my work day is so long. I have entered the Halloween virtual race though so hopefully it’s a momentary lapse. Saying that, I did admire my own persistence in the face of nausea.

Much Needed Motivation – RuPaul – Cover Girl

Day 3 – Croft-fit

I love Tomb Raider so when I found a Croft inspired work out I was 100% ready. After all, if I wouldn’t have the ability to survive what Lara has survived and still climb like a mountain goat then what is point of life? I felt very brave on this day (clearly) so I added a 6kg dumbbell in each hand for the lunges and lost count a few times on things so I definitely did more that I had to. It got rough but like Lara, I got through it. The hardest part were the plank jump-ins, it was work in itself trying to keep my leggings on. I was glad to go to bed after seven sets.

lara-croft-workout

For Gals Who Need Gains – Grimes – Venus Fly

Day 4 – Clarke Kent-ing It

I didn’t have as much freedom with my days this week as one will be spent packing and another will begin on a plane. I also used a day to attend Odeon’s Screen Unseen for the first time (worth it). So Wednesday was my last opportunity to shove some exercise in. As I had to stay later in work this day I was going to be in no position to go home, eat dinner, go out for a run and still be able to get to bed at my usual hour. I had a light-bulb moment and searched up Darebee to see if there was some sneaky office workout I could complete as I would be alone for the evening. Luckily there were a few to choose from. I opted for the Chair Abs workout and completed 5 sets. It was a lot harder than it looked (especially on a very mobile office chair) and I did not want to obtain B.O. for the commute home. I dabbed some Soap and Glory anti-bacterial gel under my pits just in case. I know I’m gross.

chair-abs-workout

Sounds To Crunch To – The Soft Hum of Office PCs

T-Shirt of the Week

file
I bought this gem in GAME on a trip to London but I’ve seen it in loads of other merch retailers. Charisma was the best perk until Fallout 4 ruined it on me.  Side-note: who needs to iron when you’re suave?